What if you could create a life that has less stress, flows smoothly, and is full of optimism, results, and love? Well there’s a simple formula that I’ve personally used and have found is common amongst anyone else that is living on their own terms.
I first came across some of the concepts in Araine De Bonvoisin book The First 30 Days. The book covers techniques to help you navigate your way through difficult times so that you can spend more time doing the things you love and less time doing those things you don’t.
THE 9 COMMANDMENTS
In Ariane’s book she outlines nine principles that all people display when navigating successfully through the most trying of times.
- People who get through difficult times maintain positive beliefs
- Even though the situation is currently difficult; the ability to get through it opens the door for personal growth
- Those that get through the tough believe in themselves that they are resilient, strong, and capable of getting past anything.
- Every challenge that is faced will never stop them and only provide emotions later on that will empower them
- The sooner a situation is accepted as difficult the less difficult is actually becomes
- The key to get through difficult situations is to ask the right questions
- The understanding that even though difficult times can feel unique to you at the time many others are experiencing the same thing and we are all connected in a sense to something bigger than ourselves
- An important aspect of getting through something difficult is surrounding yourself with people who can help you, have the right skills to do so, and are honest and true in their desire to help.
- Plan, plan, and plan. Navigating through difficulties requires a plan.
WHAT GOOD IS TO COME?
An important aspect in dealing with any difficult time in your life is to take a point of view that something good is to come from it. It’s important to understand that the ability to get through a time that may feel like the worst of the worst offers an exciting opportunity for personal growth.
If you lose your job consider what good is coming. Maybe you didn’t even like it in the first place. This could be just the kick in the pants you need to start that side hustle you have always wanted to pursue. Comfortably can often act as a crutch that keeps you from doing those things you really want to do.
“Just good enough” is probably the worst situation you can be in.
- Making just enough money
- Being in just good enough shape
- Having just enough energy
- Experiencing just enough happiness
“Just enough” satisfies us and gives us a sense of security. I’d rather be shit out of luck, at least that way a fire will be lit under my ass that gets me motivated to take action and get things done.
Question: What recently has just happened in your life that seems difficult? What good came from it or if you are still experiencing the situation what are some good things that are to come?
Always view struggles as an opportunity to empower you. Often we forget that some of our proudest moments are those times when we managed to get through the most difficult times in our life. Take a look at some of your hero’s or mentors. I bet the reason you respect them so much as a lot to do with their personal story of overcoming a tremendous obstacle. Some of the most respected persons in our history have unbelievable stories of overcoming personal struggles.
- Walt Disney
- Michael Jordan
- Nick Vujicic
When things feel at their worst take time to sit and visualize the positive that can come from the situation. Now I do want to emphasize that sitting and visualizing the good isn’t going to bring it to you. Taking action is what will do that.
SIGNS, SIGNS, EVERYWHERE IS SIGNS
Five Man Electric Band had it right, there are signs everywhere. The hard part is opening up your eyes and minds to them. It’s important to remember that life has your best interests at heart. When you stop believing this so does life and those signs suddenly disappear and you’re left to navigate your way on your own.
So if you are experiencing pain take it as a sign that something needs to change. If you’ve never been happier take it as a sign that you are living right along side your virtues and what is most important to you.
Question: How are you feeling right now? How are you feeling when you’re at work? How are you feeling when with your significant other? How are you feeling when you workout? The answers provide clues as to what steps you should now be taking.
If you want answers ask the right questions. Hell, just start asking question period. Most of the time we just complain about why things are so terrible or tough instead of asking why that actually is.
WHAT WORKED BEFORE PROBABLY WILL WORK AGAIN
How have you dealt with difficulty before? Chances are the way you navigated your way through those tough times are ways in which you can deal with these tough times. Situations may feel unique but often the way to deal with them is very similar.
Believe you can get through this: The minute you say you can’t you’re doomed. Life will automatically shut it’s doors to help you. If you don’t believe you can do it why should the universe.
Accept that it will be tough: Just admit that this will be tough. It will take time. And chances are you will probably screw up some where along the way. The most important step in overcoming anything difficult is not what you will do next but what you will do now.
Develop a plan: I can say with almost complete certainty that anytime you got through something difficult in your life you had a plan of attack. What specific steps can you take right now that get you one step closer to where yo want to be and out of a difficult situation. What can you do this minute?
YOU ALREADY EMBRACE THE MOST DIFFICULT THINGS IN LIFE
I’m serious. We actually willing welcome the most life altering experiences anyone can go through yet we do so with a naturally ability.
Two perfect examples are spending the rest of your life with another by getting married and the other one is deciding to raise a family together. Two of the most life altering experiences anyone can undertake and we routinely accept them yet can not accept the difficulties and challenges that are faced when trying to lose weight, change careers, or pursue true passions.
So if any of you are married and have kids pat yourself on the back. You are one step ahead of the rest of us in understanding how to accept a challenge.
Questions: Where are you now? Where do you want to be? What challenge can you accept that will being yo gone step closer?
WE ALL HAVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF FEAR
The difference between the people who seem fearless and those that do not is not that the fearless are able to get rid of their fears but instead it’s because they have learned to live with them. The fearless have actually found ways to incorporate fear in to their daily life. Their ability to do so has created an environment that makes fear familiar to them and non-threatening.
What they have done is provided a frame-work for understanding that they have death with fear and difficulties before. Each time a new challenge shows its face an attitude of “been there, done that” is felt. The fear is still there, the only difference is that they expect it from time to time and know how to deal with it when it shows up.
Question: What is something you are scared of? Bungee jumping? Losing your job? Not spending more time with the family? What action can you take to embrace that fear?
THERE’S NEVER A PERFECT SITUATION
Stop looking for the perfect solution. The solution is to just get started and “do something” about what ever it is that ails you. Health, career, relationships, whatever that may be.
When difficult comes knocking at your door opening that sucker up, throw out a fist pound and a chest bump and say…
“What took you so long? I’ve been waiting for you. Now lets dance.”
What are some recent difficulties that have crossed your path. How did you handle them or how do you anticipate handling them? Need some help? Post to comments and lets do this thing 🙂
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